7 Reasons why family estrangement hurts so much

The pain of being estranged from family can be very tough. Whether it's a parent, sibling, or other loved one, the pain of estrangement can cut deep. So, let's explore why being estranged from family hurts so much.

1. Loss of Connection: Family—it's supposed to be our rock, our safe haven, always there for us. When we're estranged from family members, we lose that sense of connection and belonging. It can leave you isolated and full of uncertainty, longing for stability.
   

2. Grief and Loss that’s felt because if estrangement—It’s about the loss of the family you once knew, the relationships you wished you had, the love and support you wanted to count on. It's like mourning the death of someone who's still alive, grappling with the pain of their absence but being unable to have the relationship and emotional support you want.
   

3. Unanswered Questions: The silence of estrangement can be deafening, leaving you with a million unanswered questions swirling around in your heads. Why did this happen? What could I have done differently? Why can’t they change?  Why are they this way?  Will things ever go back to how they were? It's like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces, constantly searching for answers that may never come.
   

4. Guilt and Shame: Oftentimes, individuals who are estranged from family members carry a heavy burden of guilt and shame. You might blame yourselves for the rift, second-guessing your words and actions, wondering if you could have somehow prevented the estrangement. It's like carrying around a backpack full of bricks, weighed down by the weight of our own self-blame.
   

5. Loneliness and Isolation: Being estranged from family can feel incredibly lonely, even when you’re surrounded by friends and loved ones. It's like being on the outside looking in, watching as others share laughter and memories with their families while you're left standing on the sidelines. The sense of isolation can be suffocating, leaving you feeling like you don't belong anywhere.
   

6. Fear of Judgment: There's a stigma attached to estrangement, a sense of shame that comes from breaking ties with family members. You worry about what others will think, fearing judgment and condemnation from those who don't understand your pain. It's like walking a tightrope, trying to balance your own need for healing with society's expectations of family loyalty.
   

7. Hope for Reconciliation: Despite the pain of estrangement, there's often a glimmer of hope lingering in the background—a hope for reconciliation, for healing, for a chance to mend broken relationships. It's like holding onto a lifeline and praying for peace and reconciliation.

The pain of being estranged is not to be underestimated.  It runs deep, touching every aspect of your emotional and psychological well-being. From the loss of connection and unanswered questions to the guilt, shame, and loneliness, the pain of estrangement can be overwhelming at times. also hope—a hope for healing, understanding, acceptance and even reconciliation, and for a future filled with love and connection.

Remember, you're not alone in your pain, and there are people who understand like myself included.  If this hits a note, then get in touch with me and we can discuss your pain and explore how I might be able to help you.